C section

No Quick Deal

Every so offern i get a hour to watch loose women while doing washing up cleaning or running around after my young daughter,
and i really don't know why i watch it because more or less every time i watch it something they say rages me and this was it! i was fuming,
The subject had started off about Victoria beckham and her booking her c section to have her baby girl Harper seven.

WELL carol mcgiffin seemed to say "C-sections are the easy way out" she basically said you go in be sliced open and bam.This women needs to realise it isn't so easy!
she hasn't even been in labour to know what it feels like she is to selfish to have children and hates them as she has said a number of times!
  I had a c section at 19 years old and it was the most traumatic thing i have ever been through.

While i was pregnant c section never even crossed my mind not once just didn't even think about it.I had an OK pregnancy well better than others worse than some,
i had constant sickness and feeling poorly,bleed scares on more than two occasions that is the worst feeling in the world i remember having a bad bleed being in hospital
sobbing my heart out to my partner telling him they are going to tell me i had lost my unborn.My partner was very strong and i really don't know what i would have done without him.
at 38 weeks pregnant i went into hospital as i had been very very poorly! i was taken into hospital as they thought i could have premaclampsia it was so awful. i can honestly say
i felt like the nhs didn't give two hoots about me and how i felt,i cried every night that my partner left and hardly slept i had scans on my ribs injections in my belie
twice a day and i just wanted to go home.So a week later they let me go home as i begged to go home i could not cope being in a room with ladies who had lost babies and
loosing babies also ladies waters that had gone at 23 weeks and not knowing what was going to happen next!
 so i finally got home and rested as much as i can as i was exhausted and i new at any time my little one could decide to come or so i thought! When i then got to 40 weeks
i had finally had enough and tried anything and everything to get my baby out! From fresh pineapple to mile walks to even a work out in the bedroom and NOTHING worked!
i went to the midwife hoping for some good news! and Nothing sorry leonii your not even dilating at all, WOW i thought this is not going right at all! so i had a stretch &
sweep that i new would not work at all as nothing at all was happening.I was booked in for a inducement on the 14th of January, I knew then and there that my baby would not come before that
 so the days went past still no baby no braxton hicks nothing.

I lay in bed the night before going in feeling so sick i really didn't want it to come i was excited to meet my baby but so scared as i didn't no what was going to happen so most the night i lay there rubbing my bump in the dark thinking
pleasee come now!
So the next day at a eight o'clock start me and my partner where in hospital waiting to find out what then happens,i was given some sheets of paper to explain the inducement
basically they put tablets up your lady bits and leave you for a hour you cannot get up or move around, these tablets are supposed to kick start your labour and get you going.
well there where 4 of us in the room other ladies had been screaming in pain on the 2nd tablet or 3rd,I had to beg the midwifes to inspect me to see if i was even dilating i had no idea what was going on
and they just kept giving me these tablets, i was spoken to like a child and she huffed and puffed because she didn't want to do her job and i cried because i felt that she was so horrid to me,
they had no time for me and i just felt alone at night, i was the last one left and after the pain i had heard the ladies in
i was not excited to say the least!! on the Monday night i just couldn't sleep i had been having contractions since sat now that just kept waring off, i was over tired and could not sleep,
that night i had a brilliant midwife who sat me down and spoke to me about everything pain relief told me to get a nice bath and relax, so at three o'clock in the morning
i was in the hospital bath and wow it was the best bath EVER, Now The Nice midwife then said to me right we will get this baby out i will make sure before i leave u have another tablet very early about 7 o'clock in the morning
and get it going!! And Wow By 9 o'clock i stood up and my waters where on the floor,i ran to the toilet as i thought i had peed myself LOL
then the pains kicked in, by the time my partner and mother got there i was in agony walking around listening to Rhianna album,within the next few hours i was on a yoga ball
doing squats and just wanting my baby out! At 2 o'clock i was checked YAYY 3cm of to labour ward i go in a wheel chair, i had it running through my mind that the contraction's would just stop
and i would be back to square one!
So as soon as i got there gas && air YES PLEASE!!!! it made me feel very drunk and i was giggling with my mum! back on the yoga ball i went doing squats and more, it was now at the point i could not stand up
my partner was there rubbing my back! trying to eat hospital food while in labour is hard also haha i think my partner ate most of it! lol
From this point on i only remember bits and bobs which i hate but i will try my best to make it as clear as possible, i was then checked again and was told i was only once cm!!
and that the other ward had got it wrong i instantly thought omg there going to send me back!! and i cried they reassured me i wasn't going anywhere and i would be staying to have my baby.
i looked around and there ready was a baby see through  plastic crib and the whole job came back to me I'm going to have a baby at the end of this you can do it leonii.
From then on the pain was unreal! i had pethidine which really?? didn't do anything and i really didn't want the epidural and i have no idea why because be for i even went into hospital
i had always said i will have anything and EVERYTHING, well time went on and i was told leonii you need to have the epidural your contractions are all over the place
and the pain isn't going to get any better, i cried screamed and begged them not to give it me. but in the end i had it and WOW why didn't i have it sooner!!! that pain had gone
24 hours after my waters had broke i had only just got to 10 Cm's! and i had the drip to speed me up!! i was so tired and exhausted and my poor mum and partner didn't sleep one bit
watching rubbish tellie and keeping me going they where brilliant!!so at 8 o'clock on the Wednesday the 19th i was told at 9 o'clock i would push, YAYY i thought i will have my baby soon!!
All off a sudden there where doctors called in Leonii you have a double cervix this is why u have had so much trouble I'm afraid this should of been picked up in your pregnancy,i have googled it since
and honestly still don't have much of a idea on it i would love to no more if anyone else wants to chat about it?? but i still had the go ahead to push so at 9 o'clock i started pushing,
i was told if by half 9 i hadn't improved a c section it would be and i really didn't want that, i was pushing and pushing and pushing the midwifes where saying you are doing great keep going
and i thought wow i must be doing it i must be doing OK yaya!! they stopped me pushing and went out the room my mum was hovering around the heart monitor machine and i didn't even take any notice,
then went to see if anyone was coming back, then the midwife walked though the door and my mum mentioned it to her all of a sudden there where alarms going of doctors running in,
and everyone looking down into my legs! SHE NEEDS TO GO TO THEATRE!! so i was in hysterics crying saying sorry to my partner and mother for not being able to do it i felt a failure!
i was asked the question who do you want with you i instantly said my partner as it is his baby as well i wish i could have both.i was then rushed down the theatre.i remember
the room being very big and lots of faces i was crying and couldn't move from the  epidural i felt so heavy! the doctor explained they have to numb my waist before they could even let my partner in.
so i had the injection again my my back but nothing i could still feel everything the spray and them poking me, so again the doctor said i can only do it once more before we put you to sleep we need to get this baby out leonii,
either have the injection again and have your partner in or you need to go to sleep i said do it again do it again i need him here!! so they did it again and the pain!!
right between my shoulder blades i couldn't move my head i was in so much pain i could feel it going through my spine, so that was it leonii I'm going to put you to sleep i cried no no no,
they had to calm down and i just remember being told to count to 10 in my head i must of got to 3 before i was then being woken up.
i came around shouting i didn't want a c section and shouting my partners name that bad they had to go get him, i remember him being there briefly the doctor then said leonii
you have had a c section and you have had a beautiful baby do you want to know what the sex is as i hadn't found out and i remember them saying a beautiful baby girl!!! i instantly said no
i had a boy i knew i was having a boy and cried thinking my partner really wanted a Boy that bad asking if he loved her.they replied hes met her and adores her! he then came back and told me
she is beautiful! i didn't meet my baby girl until she was a hour old this brakes my heart every time i think of this as i didn't have that first hole that moment where she was all messy. i hadn't even seen her and i was asked if i wanted skin to skin,
i now just remember looking down at my chest and there was this beautiful little miracle that i had grew inside me on my chest after all hat pain this little bundle of joy was on my chest and she looked up at me
i looked at her and that instant feeling of love overwhelmed me.( i am now crying typing this) the best feeling in the world was happening to me wight now, the next day in hospital was awful i could hardly move at first my drain drip had fell out!
it was just all awful i just sat and watched my baby girl constantly i was so amazed by her,that night she was so perfect slept all night i just wanted to hold her constantly, the next day i was told i still couldn't go home as
i had swollen up a reaction from something they had pumped into me! and i had lost allot of blood and because of how bad my labour was they wanted to keep me in so ladies came and left with there new borns and i had to stay i was heartbroken
jut wanted to get out of that place and be a family,
the next night with her was a bit more harder as she was away but i did even care that i hadn't slept i just sat and spoke to her, told her how much i loved her and that i was always going to be her mummy, look after her and protect her for along as i lived.
i felt like she was listening to every word i said  i felt like she new who i was even though she couldn't even see my face she just new i was her mummy and that i loved her,
finally the next day i was told i could go home i was over the moon!! packing my stuff away i finally went home, but it didn't get any easier for me it certainly wasn't in be sliced open and bam back out, after going home the midwife comes to your house the next day to see how you are
i was in allot of pain could sneeze cough or laugh without a tear in my eye the pain was awful, then so many days after they are supposed to take out your stitches and my midwife said I'm afraid I'm not happy to take that out, it was weeping
and seemed to be open, i had the go into hospital without my new born and it was just leaking constantly i cried and cried i honestly thought my guts where going to fall out.the Doctor decided to take my stitches out and yes it was open
and was very very infected, and what a surprise it was on the side my drip had fell out (which wasn't supposed to happen && hey left it out) i believe this is the reason why it got infected but it took them 2 weeks later to realise it was a infection
my midwife had to come to my house everyday and check my scar and after a long 6-7 weeks i was finally signed off!! during those weeks it was hard to watch other people bath and change my littler girl it broke my heart so i did over do it and push myself to do things!
To  me i had a awful experience and i have more than likely missed alot out as i don't remember it all, even now if ii watch one born every minute the c sections and the 1st moments make me cry cause I can never get that back, but i no i am going to have many more
special moments with my daughter she is my whole world and go to hell and back for her, and would go through that whole labour all over again! i watch her learn new things and she just amazes me,

i was told i will have to wait two years for another baby and its not for definite ill be able to have natural labour i feel a little bit cheated and upset that i may never have a natural labour, but my baby girl is so perfect and that is all that matters.
so in not anyway would i say sections are easy!! yes celebs can just book in and have it done but that isn't real life of having to go home and cope with it yourself normal everyday women suffer allot!
its not just psychically draining but mentally and emotional hell.
My labour wasnt perfect but my baby girl is and thats what matters the most

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